Puzzle Pieces
by Hitomi Shirou
Summary: Because the world is made of many tiny pieces that fit together to form life. Scenes of life from the cast of Hetalia. No plot, ratings will vary.
1. Talent

**Author Commentary;** So, this is basically me going through some short scenes for Hetalia that don't have a plot/story-line other than this. Yeah, in a nutshell, they're my aborted brain-babies.

**Characters/Pairs;** Canada, America, England, suggested FrUK, ensemble

**Rating;** K+

**Warnings;** Some suggestive humour

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia.

It was another regular day at the World Summit. America had rambled out ridiculous ideas for a good thirty minutes, England and France had ended up fighting (then having make up sex in a utility closet during break, very **loud** make up sex), Germany took over when things got out of hand, and they broke for lunch when Italy began whining about pasta. Normal.

"I don't understand why no one likes my ideas. They're awesome." America whined to Canada and a very dishevelled England as they began to re-gather in the meeting room.

"Alfred, the ideas that are formed in your brain and come out of your mouth are completely idiotic." England growled.

America scowled and waved his arms about, "But I'm good at talking! You said so yourself."

England rolled his eyes, "Being good at talking isn't necessarily a good thing. Adolf Hitler was a good talker, and look where that landed the world. Smack dab in the middle of another war."

America raised an eyebrow, "You think that that's where I'll end up?"

"No, I don't think you'll go on a mass-murdering psychotic rampage. I was just pointing out that being good at using your mouth doesn't have to be a good thing." England said.

America went back to flailing his arms, "But I'm good at using my mouth _and_ I'm a hero!"

Canada, fed up with the conversation, sighed and said as the last of the people walked through the door, "Alfred, the only time you're good at using your mouth is when you're on your knees."

And of course, **everyone** in the room heard it.

At first their was only silence, but then, from the far corner of the room, came a little giggle. The giggle acted as a catalyst and soon everyone in the room was falling over with laughter.

"Ahahahah! Oh God! That was too priceless!" Denmark howled. He thumped Canada on the back, "Nice one kid! Ahahahaha!"

Japan was (unsuccessfully) trying to stifle his laughter behind his hand, "T-that was pretty funny." he said between little bubbles of laughter.

America flushed red, "H-hey! That's not funny!"

Russia, who was still red in the face from his own giggle-fit clapped America on the shoulder, "Oh but it was, da? Otherwise no one would be laughing."

America growled and turned to Canada, shaking off Russia's hand as he did so, "Why did you have to say that!?"

Canada, grinning madly, said, "Cause I'm the 'hero's brother, and everyone knows that little brothers have to make their older brother's life hell."

"I hate you."

"Love you too, bro."

"You suck."

"I think we just established to the world that you 'sucked'."

"GAH!"

**Author Commentary;** Oh Alfred, you just make it so _easy_.

So, I'll have more snippets like this for you when I find the time to write them (right now I have to get ready for bed). Until then, please enjoy this and my other stories.

Tschüss.


	2. Manners

**Author Commentary;** Okay, so here I am again, this time with Japan.

**Characters/Pairs;** Japan, Greece, Turkey

**Rating;** K

**Warnings;** None if you don't count accidental rudeness.

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia

"Thank you for inviting us out to lunch, Kiku. I still have no idea why you invited this moron, but hey, whatever floats your boat." Turkey said, though he was glaring at Greece out the corner of his eye.

Japan smiled, "You're quite welcome. This happens to be my favourite restaurant, and I've always enjoyed company at lunch."

Greece smiled back, "I'd be happy to accompany you any time, Kiku."

Japan nodded as they sat down at their table. When the waitress came by, Japan helped the two Westerners order their food (they had difficulty reading the Japanese menu), and their orders were quickly brought out to them.

It all started to go downhill when Turkey and Greece picked up their chopsticks.

Turkey fumbled around with his food, the chopsticks fitting irregularly in his hands. Growling, he finally gave up and skewered a chunk of meat with one of his chopsticks.

Japan shot him a disapproving glare, "Turkey, don't stab your food with your chopsticks. It's rude."

"Eh?" Turkey said, raising an eyebrow. He was about to ask why, but the look Japan sent him was enough to get him too stay quiet.

Greece sniggered and turned back to his own plate. As he ate, he realized he wanted a drink, so he set down his chopsticks and reached for his glass of water. Quickly, Japan reached over and adjusted his chopsticks. Greece raised an eyebrow.

"Your chopsticks were crossed, and they weren't on the _hashi-oki_, so I adjusted them for you." Japan stated.

"Oh, was that rude of me?" Greece asked.

Japan nodded, "Crossed chopsticks symbolize death, and when taking a break from eating, one should always use the chopstick rest."

"Oh, my apologies." Greece said, flushing a little. And _he_ was supposed to be the more educated one when it came to Japanese culture (in comparison to Turkey anyway).

Japan nodded, "You didn't know. Just remember for next time."

Greece and Turkey both nodded and went back to their meals. For a while, the table was silent, both of the two Westerners trying (and sometimes failing) to remember their Japanese table manners. The silence was broken by a (rude) noise.

_Sllluuuuuurrp!_

Both Turkey and Greece looked up, seeing Japan slurping his noodles happily. They exchanged a glance; hadn't Japan just berated them for their bad table manners? Hesitantly, Greece leaned over the table.

"Um, Kiku? Isn't that rude?" he asked.

Japan tilted his head, "What's rude?"

"Slurping your noodles." Turkey said.

Japan shook his head, "It's actually encouraged in Japan. Making slurping noises while eating hot noodles is said to increase the flavour."

Turkey and Greece exchanged a look, shrugged and began slurping their noodles.

**Author Commentary;** All of the Japanese table manners I found on Wikipedia.

This was actually inspired by my best friend. We were eating at the local Chinese restaurant, and I noticed that her chopsticks were crossed. I knew a little bit about chopstick etiquette in Japan, namely that you weren't supposed to cross them or leave them sticking up in your rice, so I reached over and uncrossed them. When she gave me a strange look, I said, "Don't cross your chopsticks. It's rude because crossing your chopsticks in Japan is a symbol of death." she widened her eyes and said, "No kidding that'd be rude!" and we lol'ed. So, this ↑ was born.


	3. Computers

**Author Commentary;** Okay, so, it's been a while since I updated this, but I got busy working on other things. So before those other things completely carry me away, I'm going to get these ideas down.

**Title;** Computers

**Characters;** England

**Rating;** T

**Warnings;** Swearing

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia or Eddie Izzard.

For being an older nation and living through the many years where such things as computers didn't exist, England loved technology. He enjoyed all the new machines that came out to make live a little simpler. Now he didn't even have to be standing next to France to insult him instantly. He could text, IM, email, or even use his telephone to insult the frog eating bastard. However, for all of his love of technology and machines like cellphones and computers, he still couldn't figure the damn things out.

"Cannot access printer?" Arthur said, looking at his computer screen and the cheerful little message that just popped up.

"It's here." he said, gesturing to the printer sitting next to his computer. He reached over and patted the printer a few times, "I can access printer, why the fuck can't you access printer?" h shouted at his computer.

Arthur checked the cords, "I plugged you in and everything! Fucking print!" he shouted, clicking the PRINT button again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

"If there's something I haven't done, tell me dammit!" Arthur cried, trying in vain to get the computer to tell him what was wrong, "It's five in the morning! I tried to use the bloody fax modem earlier and that fucked it up, dinnit?" he growled.

Another message popped up on the screen, "No it's not being used by something else!" he said. He clicked a few more things, and a second message popped up, "A problem of type two oh nine four has occurred? What the fuck is that? What, there are two thousand and ninety-three other problems, and I just managed to get to that one?"

Fed up by now, Arthur began clicking like mad, attempting to get the stupid thing to work. Another message popped up and the screen and Arthur froze, "Oh don't do that." he said, "Don't. You. Crash. On. Me. You. Bastard! Gah!" he cried as his screen went blank, "I'm so tired, you have no idea!" he shouted at the computer.

After calming down for a moment, "Right, I'll fix this." he said determinedly.

After some acrobatics and trying to press all of the correct buttons at the same time, Arthur finally gave up and stood up from the computer, "Right then, I'm phoning Amsterdam you bastard."

Grumbling, he dialed the number and waited a minute for the person on the other line to pick up. When he heard the other person's cheery voice, he began speaking, "Hello Amsterdam? A- Oh you speak very nice English, well done." he complimented, "Now, I've got a Macintosh computer plugged into a Canon Bubblejeff printer, and- yes, I've been to the chooser and to the printer file and chosen the Canon Bubblejeff printer- yes, I've been to the chooser file and selected the printer port, which is the same as the fax modem port which confuses the fuck outa me- yes, I've chosen the picture of the dog standing upright and not on its side (taxidermist had a go with it)- what the fu- It's five in the morning! It will not print out! There's something definitely wrong with the- . . ."

"There's an on switch on the printer, is there?" Arthur said, glancing at his printer. Sure enough, a little button labeled 'on' stared back at him. Arthur sighed and hung up the phone.

Arthur booted up the computer, got everything ready, turned the damned printer on, and printed out his paragraph with no trouble. Muttering to himself, Arthur said, "There's always one fucking thing you haven't done."

**Author Commentary;** I loved this skit, it was so funny. Eddie Izzard is the best.


	4. Because Straight Men Shouldn't Glitter

**Author Commentary;** Ah, haven't updated this in a while. Oh well, I have some new ideas for you anyway.

**Title; **Because Straight Men Shouldn't Glitter

**Characters;** France, Canada, England, America, ensemble.

**Rating;** K

**Warnings;** Twilight (that in itself should be a warning)

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia or Twilight.

"A witch _again_ Arthur? Really, I would 'ave figured zat you were more creative, what wiz you making up ztoriez of fairiez and unicornz and all." France said.

"Shut up frog, at least I'm not a sodding _vampire_." England snarled, adjusting his hat.

France sniffed, "At leazt I look good." he said.

It was the annual Halloween party for the Nations of the world. This year, Austria was hosting, and so far, he had managed to pull it off with no major disasters. Though this may have been because America and Canada had yet to arrive. Not so much Canada, but America was sure to wreak havoc once he got here.

"Hey everyone! The Hero is here!"

Speak of the devil's spawn.

America burst through the door, dressed as a cowboy, dragging Canada dressed as a Victorian Gentleman (England silently approved).

"You're late." Austria huffed, "I was about to write you off as a no-show."

America laughed, dragging a silent Canada behind him, "Sorry, we had to stop and get something." he said, elbowing a snickering Canada.

Austria raised an eyebrow, "Well, you cut it close." he said, not addressing their strange behavior.

America nodded to him and then walked over to England and France, "Hey guys! What's up?" he said.

"The bloody ceiling." England said. He turned to Canada, "Very lovely outfit Matthew."

Canada grinned, "Thank you. I had to drive all over Thunder Bay to find the right fabric." he said, "And then it took forever to sew everything together."

"You sewed it yourself?" England asked.

Canada shrugged, "I had to inherit some things from you. Sewing and embroidery happened to be some of those things."

England nodded approvingly and France sighed, "At leazt 'e did not in'erit your 'orrible cooking."

England snarled, "Can it."

America laid a comforting hand on England's shoulder, "Don't worry Iggy, at least your outfit is complete. Francis's is still incomplete."

Canada snickered, but England and France only raised their brows, "Incomplete? 'ow zo?" Francis asked.

America grinned and held his hand out to Canada. Canada reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag. America took the bag, reached his hand into it, and flicked the contents at France. A handful of silver glitter floated around France, coming to rest in her hair, on his face, and on his shoulders.

"There, now you sparkle."

. . .

_*snicker*_

"AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Alfred!"

**Author Commentary;** Hetalia + Twilight bashing = EPIC.

**Note;** No glitter was harmed in the making of this fic.


	5. Trombone Blues

**Author Commentary;** This was inspired by my music class. *sniff* I'LL MISS YOU GUYS OVER THE SUMMER! I LOVE YOU MRS. L!

**Note;** Please don't use a Trombone like this. Seriously, you'll damage your Trombone.

**Title;** Trombone Blues

**Characters;** Austria, Germany, Prussia

**Rating;** K

**Warnings;** Trombone abuse

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia or a Trombone, nor can I play one.

After finishing his spring cleaning, Austria decided his other instruments needed some love as well. So, leaving the piano alone for the day, he instead picked up a beautiful Trombone. Its gold surface shone under the natural lighting of the room. Austria smiled; he really had left his brass instruments sitting around for too long.

After assembling the instrument and giving it a good maintenance check, Austria hefted the Trombone onto his shoulder. He rubbed his lips together to test how dry the were, then pressed them against the silver mouthpiece and blew.

_**BWAAAA!**_

He really **had** left his brass instruments sitting around for too long.

Austria frowned; that wasn't what that should sound like, _"Probably needs a warm up."_ he thought.

Austria blew into the mouthpiece again, creating a similar sound. He did this for a few minutes, trying to get the right notes to fit the right positions. After some adjusting of his lips, heating the instrument from the inside, and finding the right positions for his arm, he figured out his notes. As he was about to play, a hand dropped onto his shoulder. Turning quickly to see who it was, Austria twisted his entire upper body around.

_**CLANG!**_

Oops. Bad idea.

In turning his body to see who it was, Austria forgot that he was holding the Trombone on his shoulder in second position (partway extended), thus swinging it around and smacking a surprised and rather disgruntled Germany standing next to him, Prussia standing beside him and cackling madly.

"Oh Ludwig! I'm sorry. I forgot how careful you have to be when handling the Trombone." Austria said.

"T-that's okay." Germany said, bringing a hand up to rub his bruising nose, "It was an accident. No real harm done."

Prussia sucked in his laughter for a moment, "That was the single most awesome thing I have ever seen you do Roderich!" he cried, busting into laughter again.

Austria huffed, "I suppose you think your brother in pain is a laughing matter, along with the possibility that I may have damaged an expensive instrument." he said.

Prussia rolled his eyes, "After starting two World Wars, and losing both, I think he can handle a Trombone to the face. As for the Trombone, big deal. It's just an instrument."

Before Germany could drag his brother away, Austria extended the instrument all the way, successfully smacking Prussia in the side of the face with it.

"Oops." Austria said, "Must have slipped."

**Author Commentary;** I love my music class. This didn't actually happen, but we joke about the Trombone being a dangerous weapon all the time.


	6. Mountains

**Author Commentary;** This was inspired by my trip to Ireland (plus Wales, England, and France) which I just got back from a few days ago. Hope you find this as funny as I do.

**Title;** Mountains

**Characters;** Canada, England, Republic of IrelandOC

**Rating;** K

**Warnings;** None

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia.

Canada, in a moment of freedom from his tiring duties as a Nation, had decided that it was a good idea to visit his extended family. England had been quite glad to see him (after taking a minute to remember who was standing on his front step), but when Canada had suggested that they go see England's siblings, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Wales, and Scotland, he hadn't been as keen on the idea as Canada.

"Matthew, you know I always tell you that family is important, but seriously, my brothers and sister are completely bonkers." England said.

Canada rolled his eyes, "So are Alfred and Francis, but I still see them." he said, not mentioning that England was rather crazy as well.

"Be that as it may, I still don't think seeing them is a good idea." England said.

Eventually, Canada convinced England to go to the Republic of Ireland with him to visit England's sister and see the countryside with her.

"I'm glad you decided to come see me Matthew, it's always nice to have visitors." Ireland said, smiling at her 'nephew'.

"It's no problem at all Tiffany, I like coming to visit you. Your people are so polite!" Canada said.

"Coming from you of all people that's really saying something!" Ireland laughed. She turned and looked out at the landscape, "Hey look! That's the tallest mountain in Ireland!" she said excitedly, pointing to a large mound of land.

"Where?" Canada asked.

Ireland raised her eyebrow, "Right there. It's kind of difficult to miss."

Canada looked back at the large mound of earth in front of them, "_That's_ the tallest mountain in Ireland?" he asked.

Getting a little annoyed with Canada, Ireland snapped, "Yes!"

Canada paused a moment, staring at the 'mountain' presented to him. Then he promptly burt into hysteric laughter.

"What the hell?" England asked, "What's wrong with you lad?"

"Y-you call that a _mountain_?" Canada gasped out through his laughter, "That's just a _hill_! There's not even any snow on it!" he cried, "It's pathetic!"

Ireland huffed, "It's over one thousand meters!" she exclaimed.

Canada laughed even harder, "I have _hills_ nearly as tall as that! My tallest mountain is nearly six thousand meters!" he cried, tears of laughter falling down his cheeks.

Ireland growled, "That's it! I'm never letting you see my landscape again." she huffed as Canada continued to laugh at her.

**Author Commentary;** While I was traveling in Ireland, they brought us passed the tallest mountain in Ireland (Carrantuohill, 1038 meters high). I laughed because, as a Canadian who lives where there are an abundance of mountains, it looked like a large hill. It had no snow (a characteristic of mountains here), and was only just taller than a hill we have here (Hungry Hill, around 800 meters) and Canada's tallest mountain is almost six times higher (Mount Logan, 5959 meters high). To me, that was not a mountain at all, and for it to be Irelands tallest mountain was rather pathetic in my eyes. Hope you had a laugh at that.


	7. Timeout

**Author Commentary;** I've had this idea for a while, but I never used it. Oh well, here it is anyway.

**Title;** Timeout

**Characters;** Germany, Prussia, America, Canada, England, ensemble

**Pairs;** PruCan if you squint

**Rating;** K+

**Warnings; **None

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Hetalia.

"Alright then, lets get down to business." Germany said, standing at the podium at the front of the room, "First things first-"

"Germany, I have a question."

Germany growled, "Yes, America, what is it?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Well, I as just thinking-"

"Good for you, I'm so proud."

"Shut up Canada. Anyway, I was just thinking that this is a meeting for Nations right?" America said.

"Brilliant deduction Sherlock." Canada said dryly.

"Lad, don't you insult Sherlock Holmes in front of me again." England warned.

"Sorry Arthur." Canada said.

"Can I get back to my point!" America shouted, "Anyway, if this is a meeting for Nations, then why is Prussia here?"

Instantly, every eye in the room zeroed in on the albino ex-Nation sitting in between Canada and Spain (too close to Canada in America's opinion). Said albino grinned at everyone, "Fools, I'm here because I'm awesome."

Germany sighed, "Bruder, please not this again." he said, then addressed the rest of the room, "Prussia is here because I can't leave him at home unattended."

Prussia huffed, "That's not the reason I'm here and you know it Ludwig."

Germany rolled his eyes, "It seems pretty logical to me."

Prussia growled, "What was that, _kleiner_ Bruder? _[little brother]_"

Germany huffed, "What do you mean 'little' brother, I'm bigger than you are." he said.

"I'm still older than you." Prussia pointed out.

"Sometimes I wonder." Germany said dryly.

"Hey, watch your mouth." Prussia growled, "Don't disrespect me, I'm your older brother."

"Or what? Are you going to put me in a timeout?" Germany said, rolling his eyes.

"Don't tempt me." Prussia said.

"Oh like you'd even try." Germany spat.

Fed up, Prussia stood, grabbing hold of a random chair and stomping over to the taller German. Before Germany could react, Prussia grabbed hold of his ear, twisting and yanking him over toward a corner.

"Aua! Bruder, das tut weh! _[Brother, that hurts!]_" Germany yelled.

Prussia ignored his protests and spun the chair to face the corner, then yanked Germany around to sit in the chair, "Jetzt bleibst du dort und denkst darüber nach, was du getan hast! _[Now you stay there and think about what you did!]_" he yelled.

Germany growled and turned to stand, but was frozen in place by the look his elder brother was giving him. It was the same look he seen as a child when he'd done something bad and Prussia saw fit to put him in a timeout as punishment. It was preposterous that he do the same here, as an adult, but the child in him involuntarily recognized Prussia as a higher authority, and if he tried to disobey he would be in even bigger trouble, even though he was an adult and being in trouble with your elder brother didn't amount to as much as it did when you were a child.

Slowly, Germany turned back around and sat down in the chair. Prussia huffed and turned on his heel, stalking over to his seat and plopping down into like he hadn't just put his younger, but much bigger and very much so adult, brother in a timeout as though he were a child. Prussia glared at the people staring.

"Anyone else have any questions?" he growled.

Everyone coughed and began shuffling their papers. It would be a long time before anyone would question the reason Prussia still attended the meeting.

**Author Commentary;** My mother actually inspired this one.

"I don't care how old you are, I'll still turn you over my knee if you misbehave."

I didn't want to do anything with spanking (too many people would take it the wrong way), so I decided to do something with timeouts instead. I used Germany and Prussia because I thought it would be funnier if the smaller Prussia put the big, gruff Germany in his place for once. Hope you liked it.

Oh yeah, and my German isn't good at all. I know some words, but that's about it. If you find any problems in my German sentences, feel free to tell me.

**Edit; **Thanks to feanen for correcting my German.


End file.
